Life, Personal

How My Breakdown Turned Into a Breakthrough

March 1, 2017

Do you ever feel like you’ve depleted absolutely all your energy and are just so done with being an adult? This feeling has been brewing in me for weeks, and it finally broke out last Saturday morning. I was hanging out in the kitchen with V (my awesome hubby) drinking coffee, and suddenly, tears started rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. 

I finally just had it.

Overwhelmed with frustration and exhaustion, in that moment, my life felt like an endless list of:

  • responsibilities
  • deadlines
  • and checking things off

My job is insanely stressful and more demanding than ever these days, and of course, being an autism mom can also be extremely energy-depleting and demanding.  AND THEN, there is the ‘life factor’ which I refuse to give up and try to do as many things as I can possibly fit into my day. 

As a result ~ there I was standing in the kitchen crying to V that I’m overwhelmed, exhausted, dissatisfied. Life is not supposed to feel like this! Where am I rushing to? Why do I intensify things with more unnecessary worries, doubts, guilt, overthinking, you name it?! It is as if I am sabotaging myself…

Am I sabotaging myself?

Because truly, most of the things I do in my life I chose myself, and many of those things I actually like, certainly enough to offset the things I don’t like, and if not for overthinking and over worrying, my life might feel so much better. 

So what now? Crying certainly felt cathartic, but after the tears subsided, some reflection started. I have to learn to do things in moderation, cool down on intensity, concentrate on things that inspire me, and focus on the quality of my experiences rather than quantity. 

With that being said, I want to share something with you. Lately, I’ve been so worried about writing just to write, that I’ve completely forgotten about WHY I started this blog in the first place. I started blogging to capture the beautiful little moments in each day, to express my heart’s desires, to share simple pleasures, to express myself, capture memories, and share happy moments. Not to cross a checklist off my chore list.

Now to the announcement. I’m restructuring my blog writings and musings. I will be posting on the blog every Wednesday moving forward, writing about beautiful things that I fall in love with, lifestyle hacks and tips, and the extraordinary experiences I enjoy. I hope only and always to inspire you to live your better life. PLUS, I will be sending out a completely redesigned, beautiful monthly newsletter to all of my lovely followers with more helpful lifestyle hacks and tips, healthy living tips, and fun and fashion inspirations. 

Make sure you subscribe here.

Now it’s your turn, can you please share with me ~ have you ever felt overwhelmed? Tell me your story for a chance to be featured in an upcoming blogpost. I really want to create an intimate, authentic community where we can all share our struggles, our triumphs, and be real with each other. Please comment below. 

I am so thankful to all of you for taking the time to read my posts and always being there for me. 

Lots of love, 

♡ Zuma Ayriyan

Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook and Instagram for all the live action and daily fashion! xx

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Suzy Turner March 2, 2017 at 6:48 am

    I am so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling so totally overwhelmed with daily life, Zuma. It sounds like you have so much on your plate. I can’t possibly complain about anything in my life after reading what you deal with. You see, I have no children and I live a wonderful life in the Algarve with my husband. We are so fortunate to be able to live this life we lead.
    However there have been times when it’s been hard. For instance, all those years ago when we decided we wanted kids, we spent over 15 years trying. Every single month was heartbreaking for me especially, as my sister had given birth to five healthy babies over the years. I struggled with our infertility issues but over time, we came to realise children just weren’t meant to be for us. And once we’d accepted that, we realised we were able to do stuff our friends weren’t able to – like take holidays whenever it suited us, for example.
    Nowadays, many of our friends envy our lifestyle (especially the ones dealing with stroppy teenagers!) and we are more than happy with what life dealt us and we probably wouldn’t change that now.
    Anyway, sorry for the long comment lol!
    I hope you’re feeling much better now.
    Suzy xxx

  • Reply Zuma March 2, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    Suzy! Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to go through all these difficulties, for 15 years!! But I also understand and appreciate your bravery in accepting and embracing the change in your life. Making change is not easy but it comes with a wonderful reward, and I am so happy you got yours!! Sending lots of love and kisses!

  • Leave a Reply